Quest Requirements:
Skill/Other Requirements:
Quests Unlocked/Partially Unlocked by completing this Quest:
Items Needed at Quest Start:
Fishbowl Helmet, Diving Apparatus, Armor and a Weapon.
Items Needed to Complete Quest:
Items Recommended for Quest:
Items Acquired During Quest:
Zombie head, Barrel, Cannonball, Chain, Heated chain, Gunpowder, Cannonball and chain, Pirate spell sheet, Barrelchest disguise.
Quest Points:
19K Defence XP, 18K Smithing XP, 18K Thieving XP, 15K Summoning XP, 11250 Construction XP, 11K Slayer XP, 5K Dungeoneering XP, access Braindeath Island 'Rum'geon, ability to Kill 'rum'-pumped crabs for the Brackish Blade, a Pirate spell sheet to teleport between Mos Le'Harmless and Braindeath Islan, and 2 Treasure Hunter keys.
Start Point:
Your player-owned house.
To Start:
Open the package in your house.
  1. Head over to the portal of your Player-owned-house and attempt to enter it. Postie Pete will appear with a note for you and leaves. Pick up the delivery note near the portal and read the note to start the quest.

  2. Once inside of your house, you will find a large crate near the portal in your garden. Be ready for a battle and investigate the crate. A Barrelchest MK II (level 188) will emerge from the it and attack you. He uses melee attacks along with a knockback attack that will wreck any nearby furniture, including altars. The knockback attack also slowly drains your Constitution throughout the battle.

     Barrelchest MK

  3. As soon as you have defeated the Barrelchest MK II, an estate agent will appear in your garden. Talk to him and he will repair all your furniture. Now you will be able to interrogate the zombie head, all that remains of the Barrelchest, using 5 abilities (see below). The goal is to use the abilities to their full extent to get the zombie's stress level to hit the maximum. A good strategy is to use every ability and save Shake for last. The Insult can be utilized while you wait for other abilities to cool down. Once you have fully filled the stress-bar, you will automatically place the zombie head in your inventory.

    • Wet willy -- Greatly increase stress, long cooldown.
    • Nose pinch -- Slight stress increase. Combos into pig nose by doubling its effect if used immediately afterward.
    • Pig nose -- Moderate stress increase. Combos with nose pinch for double the effect.
    • Shake -- Prevents the zombie's stress level from decaying.
    • Insult -- Slight stress increase, short cooldown.

    Stress Interface

  4. Travel to Port Phasmatys and speak with Bill Teach in the pub in the center of the town. He will give you instruction on where to meet him on Mos Le'Harmless. Head to Bill's ship on the most eastern docks of the city and talk to him again to travel to Mos Le'Harmless.

    Note: The easiest way to reach Port Phasmatys is by using the Ectophial teleport option.

  5. When you have set foot on Mos Le'Harmless, head to the most northern bar Joe's House O' Rum. Take a seat in the only seat available and Joe will start the dialog with you. Ask for a long drop and in a few moments you will get what you asked for. You will find yourself in a basement with Bill Teach. Talk to him, and he will ask for evidence that you were attacked. Place the zombie on the table and he will want you to get a Twiblik Night Special from Braindeath. He will also give you a Pirate spell sheet that can "teleport" you from Mos Le'Harmless to Braindeath Isle, and back.

  6. Before using it, make sure you have melee armor and full prayer points, as well as a prayer potion and anti-poison or two. If when you are ready, use it to travel to Braindeath Isle. Once there, talk to Captain Braindeath. He will tell you that he is in a bit of a dilemma because he is missing brewers. He will make you the Twiblik Night Special you need if you can find them. The captain will then ask you to investigate the flooded cavern to the north and give you a diving apparatus and a fishbowl helmet.

  7. Cross the bridge to the west, guarded by 50% Luke, and follow the path to the flooded resource dungeon in the northern section of the island. Be ready for combat immediately upon entering the dungeon. The dungeon is made up of nine rooms, arranged in a 3x3 formation. You enter from the southern-center location, and your goal is to reach the north-western, north-center, and north-eastern rooms to find the dead brewers. Head to northern rooms and inspect the dead brewers.

    Note: The dungeon is filled with 'Rum'-pumped crabs (level 91), which use melee, and General malpractitioners (level 65), which use ranged. Protect from melee and Antipoisons are recommended in the dungeon.


  8. Once you have inspected all 3 dead Brewers, return to Captain Braindeath. He will give you the Twiblik Night Special if you swear upon The Oath. Swear upon it, and head back Bill Teach at the bar in Mos Le'Harmless. Ask him for another long drop and he will unlock the Twiblik Night Special. Open it to find some woman's clothing and Bill will reveal his plan. He wants you to give the zombie a makeover by picking his hairstyle, blush, eyeshadow, and lipstick. The zombie will be so humiliated that he will tell Bill Teach that he came from Bloodsplatter Island and that Rabid Jack is his boss. He will even give you directions to get the island.

    Note: The safest way to leave the dungeon is to teleport out using the Ectophial and traveling back to Mos Le'Harmless to use your new Pirate spell sheet to get back to Braindeath Isle.

  9. Bill Teach will then want you to meet him back on his ship so that the two of you can sail to the island. Make sure you have 6 open inventory spots and talk to Bill on his ship. Once you are sailing, talk to him again. The ship will be shot at from the island and therefore sailing will no longer be an option. He wants you to build a barrel-cannonball boat and fire yourself to the island instead. Go down to the hull and pick up a hammer, a tinderbox, a barrel and three handfuls of gunpowder. Open the gun locker to retrieve a cannonball and the repair locker for a chain. Use the gunpowder on the chain to flash-heat it, then use the flash-heated chain on the anvil to smith it into a cannonball and chain. Use that on the barrel to make a cannonball-barrel boat. Go back up to the deck and click on the cannon to travel to Bloodsplatter Isle.

    Note: If you accidentally select "travel" instead of "talk-to" do not worry. You can still travel to Bloodsplatter from Port Phasmatys.


  10. On the shore of Bloodsplatter Isle, investigate a perch rock and a familiar seagull will talk to you. It happens to be the very same seagull you shot out of an accordion cannon during the Rocking Out quest. However, after seeing you blast yourself out of a cannon, it accepts that you are trying to atone for your past wrongs. It wants to team up to defeat the enemies around the island. You will take control of the seagull and going on a bombing run. The controls are very straightforward, though the seagull cannot stop flying. Neither can it immediately change direction but he has to make circles turn. Keep this in mind when chasing an enemy. Lastly, the bombs have a delay, so do not drop when you are right above the enemy. Fly towards an enemy, and drop the bomb when you are about three spaces away.

    Seagull Controls

  11. Once, you have dispatched of all of the enemies on the shore, the Adventurous can now dock safely. Walk to the pier, and dive off the end to swim back to the ship. Talk to Bill Teach and sail the ship to Bloodsplatter Isle. Once you are in the facility, head east to the area full of supplies. Pick up a bandage, a surgical mask, a barrel of barrelchest parts, and an empty barrel.

  12. Then simply run in, and a zombie will blast you with a tranquilizer and lock you in a nearby room. Pick the lock to get out and return to the to the dock. Signal The Adventurous and tell Bill Teach that you have run into a problem. He will suggest that you build a disguise, and tell you to get supplies. Talk to him again to have him build the Barrelchest disguise.

  13. Head back to the isle, go back into the facility, grab three more empty barrels and three handfuls of gunpowder. Use the gunpowder on the barrels to make three gunpowder-filled barrels. Make sure you have space around you and put on the disguise. Now, you must sabotage the facility. Walk north into the main facility, where the zombie originally shot you with the tranquilizer. There are five rooms, and each one has a noticeboard and a puzzle. The room to the east, filled with incomplete barrelchests in the first target. Talk to the Attendead and he will tell you that he wants you to get get some barrels to complete the incomplete barrelchests. Use your gunpowder barrels on the three incomplete ones, then detonate one to set off a chain reaction. Read the noticeboard and you will receive an evidence file.

  14. The next room to sabotage is direct to the west. It has three zombies, a noticeboard, and gas canisters in it. You need to distract the zombies to read the notice board. Smash the gas canister to fill the room with laughing gas. Then, talk to each of the zombies to distract them with a joke. Finally, smash them with your barrelchest suit. Read the notice board and you will receive an evidence file.

  15. West of that is a room with three more zombies, which you simply have to kill with your anchor or cannon. The anchor will do damage, while the cannon will stun, preventing the zombie from attacking until you attack it. The cannon does have a reload time, so you cannot stun all the zombies. To start, hit one zombie with your anchor, then stun another one to keep it from attacking you. Kill all three zombies and read the noticeboard to receive an evidence file.

  16. The fourth room, the northwest room, requires no dispatching. The guards are boozed up on rum and won't bother you. Read the notice board and you will receive an evidence file. Finally, head into the northeastern room with the three surgeons and three massive arms. Loosen all the arms from the tables, and you will automatically step back into the hall. A cut scene will occur in which the surgeons will be handled. Read the notice board to obtain the last evidence file.

  17. Once you have all five files, return to Bill Teach on The Adventurous. He will take your disguise and give you some powder kegs. Go back to the room in the facility, containing conveyor belts and a lever. Pull the lever and you will have to load the powder kegs onto the belts to destroy the motor at the end. It will take three kegs for each belt to explode. Ignore the zombies that ride the belts toward you as they will only block kegs from reaching the end.

    Conveyor Loader

  18. Once the motors have all blown will up, you to jump into the next room and run east until you reach the end, and climb down the ladder. The zombies will escape in zomboats and you will have to chase after them using the zomboat they left behind. You will be attacked by five other zomboats when you're in the boat. Your inventory will be replaced by two buttons; one to fire cannonballs and one to repair your ship. The easiest way to fire is to simply click on a boat. If you use the fire button, you will have to specify where to fire. This may come in handy if you wish to lead a cannonball ahead of a ship you want to hit. Like the seagull's cannon balls, there is a delay. Stay close to a ship you want to fire at. Always try to keep your ship's health topped off if you can, using repair.


  19. When all of the five zomboats have been sunk, you will sail back to The Adventurous. Bill Teach will then take you back to Mos Le'Harmless, and tell you to meet him in Joe's basement again. Talk to him to claim your reward.

    Congratulations! Quest Complete!

    Complete Scroll

This Quest Guide was written by Neek. Thanks to Heavens Vibe, Perro, Keith, Vane, Alfawarlord, Graystar and Smexy Sarah for corrections.
This Quest Guide was entered into the database on Tue, Mar 29, 2011, at 12:04:30 PM by Alfawarlord, and it was last updated on Fri, Sep 01, 2017, at 04:41:35 PM by L1ttleR3d.

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