Difficulty:
Novice
Length:
Short
Quests Recommended:
Quests Unlocked/Partially Unlocked by completing this Quest:
Items Recommended:
Items Acquired During Quest:
Rewards:
Medium XP lamp, Relomia's party hat override, and 2 Treasure Hunter keys
Starting Point:
The Blue Moon Inn, just North of the Varrock lodestone.
Instructions:
  1. Talk to Relomia and she will tell you to get a drink and Party hat the from table next to her as it's time to celebrate 20 years of your famously heroic deeds! Interact with the table West of her and you will be given the option to choose between alcoholic or non-alcoholic drink (same thing will happen regardless of which you choose).

    once upon a time...

  2. Drink the Punch/Punch (non-alcoholic) and wear the Party hat, then talk to Relomia again. It will quickly become apparent that the other people in the room think she is you. Going through the dialogue, Relomia will recount "her deeds" to the people asking, but she isn't you and will get some details wrong that you must correct. The three quests (even if you haven't done them yet) are recounted in a random order, so (in proper RuneHQ fashion) we will go through them alphabetically below.
    • Demon Slayer, Gideon Bede: Use Silverlight, not Blacklight (not to mention it's called Darklight later, not Blacklight)
    • Dragon Slayer, Guildmaster: Elvarg only has one head, not three
    • Vampyre Slayer, Morgan: Count Draynor has to be beaten with the help of a wooden stake, not an iron flock
    Once you have interrupted all three stories, the three of you will con front Relomia. She will get mad, kill you in a single blow, and thus send you to Death's office.

    the plot thickens

  3. Arriving in Death's office will immediately start a dialogue. He will think you are Relomia as well and remark on how many guards and cows get sent to him as a result of [Your name]'s work. After looking a little closer, he will realize that you are yourself not Relomia. He will sort out the current identity mix up, but advises that you take it up with his friend, Closure, to help avoid this confusion every time you die. Before you leave, he remarks that the hat makes you look ridiculous. Don't take it off or destroy it though! You will need it later.

    you're not a cow, are you?

  4. On the East side of Death's office, the North wall has a door marked as "Closure's Study". Walk through it and you will find the beings you slew in the adventures that were being recounted by your replacement at the Blue Moon Inn. Time works differently in this study apparently and that is supposed to explain why you are talking to their dead souls, even if you haven't actually completed those quests yet. That still doesn't explain why the people in the Blue Moon Inn thought you'd already done them, though.

    last in line

  5. Talk to the any of the antagonists (or try talking to Closure) and it will become clear that you must get the antagonist's unfinished business taken care of before you can talk to Closure. This is because they are all in line and once their business is completed, they will no longer need to be there thus you can move forward in their places (but, let's be honest, it doesn't look like Elvarg or the Count are actually in line). Once again, we will break them down alphabetically by quest. It is recommended to begin with Delrith as you don't even need to leave the room to deal with him. Once he is gone, speak to both of the others to help avoid going back in forth (talk to both, complete both tasks, return and talk to both again.
    • Demon Slayer: Delrith
      As it turns out, you merely killed Delrith instead of banishing him. Whoops. He will tell you the words to the banishment ritual: Carlem Aber Camerintum Purchai Gabindo. Once you have been told the words, repeat them back to him in the proper order (3, 1, 2, 5, 4) and he will be sucked in a vortex back to Dis (after dissing your hat), allowing you to take his place in the queue.

      mission 1

    • Dragon Slayer: Elvarg
      She will tell you that she doesn't want her treasure hoard going to her offspring because they're greedy whelps who don't deserve her treasure. You'd think this means a trip to Crandor, but you'd be wrong. She kept her treasure in a bank account; what do you take her for? She will give you her Last Will and Testament and tell you to talk to a banker at the Grand Exchange in Varrock. You must use it on a banker at that location, other grand exchange locations will not work, nor will a Grand Exchange clerk: it must be a banker. In exchange for the Last Will and Testament you will receive Elvarg's treasure hoard. You can peek at it if you like, though that is a little rude and she will know that you looked. Once you have obtained Elvarg's treasure hoard, return to Closure's study to give it to Elvarg (who will claim your Party hat may devalue hers by proxy) and move forward in the queue.

      mission 2

    • Vampyre Slayer: Count Draynor
      He is worried that he might have left the oven on; might as well check your own while you're at it. Head into Draynor Manor (Draynor lodestone is the fastest method), make your way to the North Western-most room, and turn off the range. After that, simply return to Closure's study by way of Death's office and tell the Count that you took care of it. He will leave, after telling you that the Party hat is enough of a punishment for you, allowing you to advance in the queue.

      mission 3

  6. With the line cleared, make your way into Closure's study and talk to him. He will make it clear that Relomia is essentially taking your place in your story. He further explains that controlling the narrative is dangerous because the longer she is you, the more long-term damage it could cause - even to the point of writing you out of existence! Unfortunately, he cannot simply remove her from your story on his own, though. He will need you to get her to willingly sign a Death contract in order to return your identity to you. Unfortunately, the second she sees you, she will know something is up and will never sign it for you. As a solution, he will place an illusion spell on the hat so that she will not recognize you while you wear it.

    now serving number 1

  7. Head back to the Blue Moon Inn and talk to Relomia. To get her to sign the Death contract, you will need to call her by your name, tell her you are your biggest fan, and that you want an autograph. After she realizes you have reclaimed your role as main protagonist, she will get upset that she doesn't get to be famous, provide some obvious foreshadowing, and vanish.

    biggest fan!

  8. Return to Closure's study and give him the Death contract. He will remove your hat if you haven't already and you will receive your reward.

    take that darn thing off!

Congratulations, Miniquest complete!

el fin

This Miniquest Guide was written by 3ter 1. Thanks to ChathMurrpau for corrections.
This Miniquest Guide was entered into the database on Sat, Mar 13, 2021, at 11:03:51 PM by Chath, and it was last updated on Tue, Aug 10, 2021, at 01:27:53 AM by Chath.

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