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Jess' thread of poetry


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10 replies to this topic

#1 Jess

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Posted 03 March 2012 - 11:05 AM

Going to add one a week, will start off with 3. Warning that they're sorta dark. Posted Image


Going to be postin' some poems here. Give me some tips and critique or praise, whatever works! Feel free to +1 if you're cute.


1. So when he commits suicide, what're you going to do?


All you'll be able to see is his face starin' back at you.


As he cries for help, and reaches out his hand


You shrug and turn away, leaving him to stand.


You kick and shove him around, he screams but there's no sound


Every word you throw out just beats and pounds him down.


Be the light and give him hope


Show him how to hold onto the rope


Because all it takes is a little smile


To make someone's life seem worthwhile.



2. Don't make a mistake


It'll shatter your soul


One is all it'll take


To suck you through a hole


The image is like a picture


The actions so vile


After all of the lectures


I'm still in denial


8 years have flown


Since the deed had been run


My heart can't be sewn


My mind is undone


The action was unjust


The wrong time, the wrong place


The event misused trust


I'm rushing through time and space


I wish to forget


To go back and to change


The events from the past


The day of the pain.


I need to change.


I need to move on.


But I'm rendered useless


Because I'm not strong


One mistake is all it takes


To cause you to end your life


Perhaps, it is fate


To live in the afterlife.


3. One for the Christians!


I live with a disorder

A beast inside of me
It makes me out of order
I cannot set it free
The beast will take control
Whenever it may feel
My mind stays on patrol
It tries to break the seal
My actions are unjust
The things I do are cruel
The beast misuses trust
Whenever it may rule.
I try to free myself
Of the chains that hold me down
It threatens to ruin my health
I scream without a sound
There's a beast inside
It threatens to snap
It refuses to hide
It's caught me in it's trap
But a glowing hand rescues me
From this thing made of deceit
A precious thing sent to set me free
The top of the elite.
With help of the Divine
I have broken bonds
Now I can walk and shine
Weak turned into strong.
So praise the love the Father brings
For He is love, and He is King
His mercy is a one track mind
It keeps flowin' til the end of time.


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#2 Hi Im Trippy

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Posted 03 March 2012 - 06:55 PM

I'm not much of a poet, but those were good. :)

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#3 Doc

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Posted 04 March 2012 - 07:52 PM

They're very good! And they rhyme too! When I try to write poems, I can never make them rhyme.
Formerly 'hmmm'

#4 CapuDie

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Posted 05 March 2012 - 02:45 AM

Nice ones! :o

I liked the first one in particular. :)
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#5 Jess

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Posted 12 March 2012 - 06:12 PM

Going to add a few soon, thanks for the critique!
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#6 Guest_Alezandra_*

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Posted 17 March 2012 - 09:11 PM

Can we add our own poems?

#7 Jess

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Posted 22 March 2012 - 08:02 PM

Can we add our own poems?


If you want you most certainly can or you can make your own topic. Your choice. :) Adding more today!
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#8 Mr Style

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Posted 22 March 2012 - 08:06 PM

You write your poems like I do..

Structured yet rhythmic and in sets of twos :D

29da73t.gif

As we must account for every idle word, so must we account for every idle silence. - Benjamin Franklin


To fight and conquer in all your battles is not supreme excellence; supreme excellence
consists in breaking the enemys resistance without fighting. - Sun Tzu


#9 Jess

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Posted 22 March 2012 - 08:08 PM

You write your poems like I do..

Structured yet rhythmic and in sets of twos Posted Image


Haha I do switch it up occasionally but for the most part yes! Love it!
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#10 Mr Style

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Posted 22 March 2012 - 08:13 PM

It's brilliant isn't it?

Hang on I'll try to find one that I made.. I lost my hard drive the other day and so I lost all my stuff. So I'm going to try to find it on the paper I wrote it on..

29da73t.gif

As we must account for every idle word, so must we account for every idle silence. - Benjamin Franklin


To fight and conquer in all your battles is not supreme excellence; supreme excellence
consists in breaking the enemys resistance without fighting. - Sun Tzu


#11 Mr Style

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Posted 22 March 2012 - 08:16 PM

Right, this might be a short one, but it's definately my most proud achievement :L

A silky trail, ebbed to perfection,
A sweet sourness, vertical complexion,
Therein, the greatest invention to date,
Held by the five, a tongue so late.

29da73t.gif

As we must account for every idle word, so must we account for every idle silence. - Benjamin Franklin


To fight and conquer in all your battles is not supreme excellence; supreme excellence
consists in breaking the enemys resistance without fighting. - Sun Tzu