A Clockwork Syringe
Combat 110 is recommended
Items needed: Two pieces of leather, gold bar, Blurberry Special, Drunk Dragon, Chocolate Saturday and combat equipment
Items recommended: Ectophial
Items acquired during quest: Letter from Bill Teach (needed to start quest), Eric's hook, Piece of cloth, Eric's hook attached to cloth, Eric's hook (sharpened), Fish, Small crate, Wooden spoon, Cheese sandwich, Pineapple, Unbaited box trap, Baited trap, Wilson, Guard's keys, Pineapple (sticky), Pineapple Wilson, First floor keys, Rum, Zombie head, Barrelchest disguise, 100% Luke's leg, Barrels of rum
Rewards: 2 Quest points, 50k Agility xp lamp, 50k Construction xp lamp, 50k Firemaking xp lamp, 50k Thieving xp lamp, 5 Zogoth black pearls, Rabid Jack Hat and cosmetic sword overrides, The Big Book o' Piracy, Improved pirate impling loot, Chance to get Master clues from Skeletal Horror, Holy wrench prayer boost while using Dungeoneering necklaces, ectoplasmator
and prayer potions and 2 Treasure Hunter keys
Start point: POH portal
To Start: Speak to Postie Pete at your player owned house portal
1: Try to enter your house via the house portal and Postie Pete will pop up, giving you a letter from Bill Teach. Read the letter to start the quest. Reading the letter will tell you that Bill Teach is in trouble and he needs your help.
2: Go to the Customs Sergeant in Rimmington and speak to him. Choose the option that you'd like to confess and choose a crime. He will send you to Rock Island prison (make sure you have nothing on you)
NOTE: Easiest way to get to the Customs Office is by teleporting to Port Sarim lodestone and running southwest.
3: Once you're in Rock Island prison, shout through the barred window in the back of the cell and talk to Two-Eyed Eric. Ask him to give you a hand and he will give you his hook. Shout through the other barred window and talk to Bill Teach. He will tell you he had found something strange with the customs office but they caught him and sent him to prison. He wants you to investigate.
4: You need to try and break out of the cell now. First use Eric's hook with the bed in your cell to get a piece of cloth, then use the hook with the piece of cloth to make Eric's hook attached to cloth.
5: Get out of your cell from the hole in the north, then go around to the fishing spot next to the pier. Use Eric's hook attached to cloth on the fishing spot to make an Eric's hook (sharpened) and catch a fish. Use the fish on the door and your character will throw it, which attracts a rat. This gives your character an idea and he states he needs another creature to distract the guards.
6: Use the hook with the fishing spot again to get another fish but this time use it on the rock perch outside, then on the door. The seagull will swoop in distracting the guard that will then leave you free to use Eric's hook (sharpened) on the door to picklock and open it.
7: Push barrels of black stone to get the southern door closed and the guards locked out. Use Eric's hook (sharpened) on Bill Teach's cell door to free him. Upon freeing him you will drop the hook and it will get snatched by a rat. You need to get the hook back so investigate the crates to get a small crate, then search the desk for a wooden spoon, cheese sandwich and pineapple.
8: Use the wooden spoon on the small crate to make an unbaited box trap and use cheese sandwich on the trap to bait it. Go to Bill Teach's cell to see a rat hole. Use the baited trap on the rat hole and you will catch a rat called Wilson. You need to interact with it now to get the hook back. Choose to Firmly admonish the rat, then inform the rat of your plight and then introduce yourself properly. Finally ask it for help to free your friends and it will give you guard's keys.
9: Use the guard's keys on one of the other cell doors and everyone will be freed. You need to find a way to open the door that leads upstairs. Upon trying to open it, you will find out that it is warded and Bill Teach will check and tell you to speak to Madame Shih. Talk to her and she tells you that the door is voice recognized so you need to find something to reproduce the passcode.
10: Speak to Jimmy The Parrot and you will ask him if he remembers what guards would say to open the door. He nods and you ask him to repeat it as you go to the door. He does, and the door opens. Go through the door and investigate the poster. There will be a note saying the keys are under the bed on the first floor.
11: Go upstairs and you will see a Crassian guard. It won't attack you, but it won't let you go up more floors either. Use the pineapple you got earlier on the slime on the floor to get Pineapple (sticky). Use the pineapple (sticky) on Wilson to get Pineapple Wilson. Use Pineapple Wilson on the door the guard is in to chuck him through and distract the guard, then go in and quickly investigate the bed for the First floor keys.
12: Investigate one of the lockers for Rum and then open the northwestern door, use the rum on the strange egg to set it alight and distract the Crassian guard, then go upstairs again. You will witness a dialogue between two people about injecting pirates. They eventually notice you and you will need to get your friends and escape the island. Dive from the pier. You will need to go to Mos Le Harmless now. Bill Teach will offer to sail you there.
13: Once you're at Mos Le Harmless, go to the pub in the northwest corner and sit on chair to get dropped to a secret basement. Upon getting dropped you will see an argument taking place you can interrupt them and you will talk of a plan to get Rabid Jack down. You will need to get some answers from a zombie head so you need to interrogate it. Choose kind interrogation and "Maybe we can come to an arrangement". The zombie head reveals that it will tell you the secret hideout of Rabid Jack if you find it a true companion and let it watch sunrise at a tropical beach.
14: For the tropical beach, go to Karamja (quicker to teleport to Karamja lodestone and run southwest). When you're in the correct spot, the Zombie head will tell you to stop. Put it down. When you talk to it it will tell you that something is missing, and it needs cocktails.
15: Get the Blurberry Special, Drunk Dragon and Chocolate Saturday and go back to Karamja (you can buy them from the Grand Tree) and hand them to the Zombie head. After drinking them all, watch the sunset. Now it is time to get your Zombie friend the pet.
16: Go to Gertrude in west Varrock and ask her for a pet for your friend. She says she has run out of kittens but you should speak to her children. Talk to either Kanel or Philop in the southwest/southeast room of the house and they'll tell you there is a monster at the sawmill. Go to the sawmill and search the jiggling crate. Keep digging in and eventually you will take Wilson out. Both Wilson and the zombie head will agree to accompany each other and the zombie head asks you to mark the rat as his companion by making a collar out of 2 leather and a gold bar.
17: Now you need to get two pieces of leather and a gold bar and go back to Wilson in the sawmill. You will make the collar, but for the zombie to reveal everything it knows, you will need to go back to the secret basement in the pub in Mos Le Harmless. The head reveals that Rabid Jack has a secret island called Kraken Tooth island where he conducts his experiments and even though it doesn't want to go back to the island, it will mark the location on your map.
18: You will need to prepare for a fight and board the rowboat waiting at the south-west shore of Mos Le Harmless. The ship will eventually stop as it hits something and you are required to check below deck for any damage. As you check the door, Rabid Jack arrives and introduces himself. You will then need to kill the tentacles on the side of the ship. After the tentacles are dead, a monster arrives, called Zagoroth. It is just the same as Agoroth so the same tactics apply. Crassian guardians will come from time to time but try to focus on Zagoroth.
19: After you kill Zagoroth, Bill Teach will ask Pirate Pete to teleport all of you to Mos Le Harmless. You need to defend Mos Le Harmless now. Kill the zombies, repair the barricades, sink the zomboats and kill barrelchests. You can check which parts need to be complete from the top left corner. There are two waves. After the second wave is complete you learn that the invasion was just a coverup. Rabid Jack wants the distillery. You need to infiltrate the distillery now.
20: Get to Braindeath Island and talk to Davey. To get to him you need to go downstairs, to the northeastern side (near where 50% Luke is) and go up those stairs into the room where Davey is. He tells you that Rabid Jack and his army has taken control of the distillery and when asked what they want with it Davey asks you to listen in on the window to see about their plans. Exit the room and go Northwest and listen at window. Mi-Gor interrogates Captain Braindeath about the final ingredient and noticing you, he says it is witchwood.
21: Talk to Davey again and you will tell him what Captain Braindeath said. He tells you about Operation Witchwood and gives you a barrelchest disguise. Change into the disguise and go downstairs to talk to Captain Donnie. Tell her that Mi-Gor would like some witchwood and she will give you 100% Luke's leg. You can also tell Captain Donnie that Mi-Gor would like to see her to get the passphrase needed to enter the distillery.
22: Now go back upstairs and talk to Barrelchest MKI. You have the passphrase to enter the distillery now (How appropriate. You fight like a zombie sea cow). He lets you pass. Once inside, climb up the ladder and take the barrels of rum from the northwest and southwest corners, block the pressure barrel with 100% Luke's leg and then pull the lever next to it to overload pressure. Now everyone downstairs will be covered in rum. Exit the distillery, take off your disguise and go back to Davey and talk to him.
23: You have access to the northern part of the island now, so go through the gate 50% Luke (who is now 66.6....% Luke) was guarding and investigate the perch at the very top. A seagull comes and you ask it to blow up the doors to the mysterious entrance. The seagull requires explosives. Good thing you have barrels of rum (make sure you have picked both of the barrels). Give the barrels to the seagull and you will now need to try and hit the door 3 times. You will control the seagull by clicking on the direction arrows. Try to click on the bomb a bit before the seagull is above the door to allow for wind direction to hit the door.
24: Once the door has been bombed, a crab will come out and you will see a few little pictures of kitten playing around while the crab does it's "thing". After everything is done, talk to Captain Braindeath or Mi-Gor and he reveals that you haven't actually stopped Rabid Jack and that he's in Kraken Tooth Island. You need to prepare for a fight again, and make your way to the island using Madame Shih's ship.
25: While setting sail, Rabid Jack attacks again, but this time the ship is on fire. You need to get off it. Go to the crate nearby and equip diving gear, then dive off the cracked hull. You are now in a sunken island. Go to the southwest side and jump off the edge to the next island. Walk across the boat on the west then go north across another boat. Pass through the shimmering barriers in the north. The water will magically turn to air and you'll be able to breathe and wear your armour and weapons again. It is time for another fight.
26: There are rum barrels scattered around that you can drink to cure your "insanity". When you kill Rabid Jack for the first time, you need to loosen the chains to make him vulnerable again.
NOTE: If you leave the fight for some reason, or die and wish to return, you will need to board the rowboat in Mos Le Harmless on the western dock.